Afraid of the Dark

darkness

I’m afraid of the dark.

I lust after the light.

I want more and more, so no darkness remains.

But despite my best efforts to avoid it, the light begins to fade. Darkness sets in.

I turn on my light, throwing my fist to the natural world and proclaiming, “I can be surrounded by light, even now!”

But then, maybe by accident, I find myself outside.

In the darkness with no light bulb in sight.

That’s when I see them.

The stars.

I suppose they’ve always been there, but the blinding light of the sun has kept my focus on my comparably small reality.

The stars are magnificent.

I wish I could see them in the light of day, but I know this is impossible.

They take my breath away.

The moon!

Where did that come from?

As I walk I notice something strange and disorienting, but also breath taking.

My shadow.

I thought it was pure darkness, but apparently, when my eyes adjust, I see that there is light within the darkness.

They are not enemies after all.

They are one.

What am I afraid of?

Am I afraid to see the stars?

Am I afraid to see my shadow thrown on the ground by the full moon?

Am I afraid of the light within the darkness?

The sound within the silence?

The movement within the stillness?

The communion within the solitude?

I am afraid of the dark.

But as it turns out, the light I so desperately long for today is that subtle one, seen only when my eyes adjust to the mysterious and unknown darkness.

And Now For Something a Little Different: Seeing What Is…


boarded

I heard them outside.
They sounded angry. They were out to get me.
I couldn’t quite see out the window.
But, I didn’t have to see.
I was in danger.
So, I boarded up the windows.
If they can’t see me then I’m safe.

A still soft voice spoke to me in my dream.
“Walk Outside” it said.
I would listen, but I am sure that they are still out there.
As long as they are out there I am only safe in here.
So, I put a layer of cloth behind the boards.
Now they surely won’t see me.

A moth ate a piece of my cloth.
I had no choice but to kill him.
This cloth. These boards. They are all that protects me from them.
I worked all day to repair the holes.

Again the voice spoke to me in my dream.
“Walk Outside” it said. But this time it said more.
“Ben, I love you too much to let this be it. Walk Outside!”
I wish I could listen, but I am not safe from them out there.

That was when it happened.
The fire came out of nowhere.
I had seconds to decide what to do.
I ripped the cloth and pulled down the board.
Before I knew it, I was outside.

Suddenly I remembered that they were outside.
Only, they were one man. He was angry about my door decorations. He spoke his mind and then left.
I admit, though, that I was hardly listening. The landscape behind him was so captivating.

Suddenly I remembered that I was outside.
For a moment I considered going back inside.
But then I realized that inside was a lie.
Instead I ran toward the horizon and never looked back.

Freedom was beckoning. I was finally seeing what is.

horizon

I am…

20150201_162409

I am the dance

You can’t control me

because I am movement itself

I am the dance

Those looking in can’t understand me

Those participating don’t need to understand me

I am the dance

Those trying to learn my steps get left behind

Those who surrender get swept away

I am the dance

Offending some

Transforming all

I am the dance

The only way to see me

Is to feel me

I am the dance

No name defines me

No dancer escapes me

I am the dance

I am unstoppable

Just ask the song

I am the song

Spoken Word by Joshua Station Youth

Tonight we had our annual Spring Theater Event–a fundraiser for Joshua Station and the Justice And Mercy Legal Aid Clinic. Before the play, Shadowlands, we threw a wine and desert mixer complete with an incredible Surf band and some amazing Spoken Word by a friend of Mile High Ministries and two teenagers living at Joshua Station. I was so impressed by the work of our teens that I insisted they allow me to share their words with you. I hope these words hit you as hard as they did me. Today, I am so proud to be doing what I am doing.

Robert’s Poem

Joshua Station
Is a big apple tree,
With families hanging on its branches.
Sometimes apples fall from the branches
Sometimes they are picked
Sometimes families move on.

Me and my family
Flew like butterflies to this tree
While the fading light of the sweet sun reflected off our wings.
We were ready for a good night’s rest
After a long test with my dad.

His long addiction was ruining the love and affection
My family had towards each other.

I once heard
“Everyone has their fight.”
This was my Mom’s fight,
A metaphor for the choice she made.

She taught me
Never to leave something undone.
For everything has its consequences
even doing nothing.

Sometimes you have to stand and help somebody you care about.
Be as the great lion,
The king of the beasts,
Standing tall and proud fighting to protect his pride from outside threats.
We are a family.
A lion pride.
And we watch each other’s backs while we continue our long journey.

Fight not only for yourself,
But for the people you care about.
You have control over the outcome of your life
And you can make a difference
With what happens to the people that you love.
Whether you’re going to be successful or not…it’s your choice.
It’s a choice to surrender or not to bad things.

I choose to never surrender,
To never give in.
I am thankful for all my family and friends.
I am grateful at the end of every day God has let me live
And the beginning of every beautiful night.
Live life to the fullest because God has given you a chance to live.
For what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Kimberly’s Poem

Whether people are moving out,
Or new people moving in,
Here we are a family.

Listen carefully.

Listen to our peace.

Listen to the sound of our waterfall.

We are rose petals opening up like arms for the future.
Each petal a new adventure waiting for us to explore.
Each flower spreading across the earth’s crust making it amazingly beautiful.

Our spirits start like small seeds
That grow into the biggest trees
As our faith gets stronger.

The Joshua Station protects you from those who harm you.
Like a palm tree
Blocking the suns raging rays.
There’s so much to be grateful for in the shade.

Pay attention ’cause you can miss it…something that no one else can see.

This is what I’m becoming…something unstoppable, inevitable, something remarkable. This is what I know.

What about you? Your life? Your thoughts? Your personality? What are you becoming?

Don’t miss it.

The beauty of reality.

Where nothing is impossible, let your imagination take over.